Alzheimers is not fun!!
As a wife and mother of three grown sons (23, 19 & 18) I have had to adjust to my mother coming to live in our home with us.
She is in the beginning stages of alzheimers and finding it difficult giving up her “normal” life for this. Seeing this happy busy lady having to change her life is difficult for us. She has become very unhappy and can’t accept what is happening to her.
Having always been close to mom, although we debated and argued many times in our lives, this is an heartbreaking experience for her as well as for all of us.
As a busy and successful Property Consultant my work has had to be neglected and with that goes a loss of income. As a net junkie and sociable person my social life has had to be put on hold.
All this would seem worthwhile…if only she was not so ungrateful!! Then again….she does not realize what she is doing so she is not to blame!!
Bless your heart! I’ve cared for Alzheimers patients for 25 yrs. Although each is a little different the ranting is the same. They want to go home or someone is stealing from them or where did they park their car and the list goes on and on. To save yourself ( and that is the most important thing since you have to be the caregiver) the best thing you can do is work closely with her physician and get her a medication that may control some of these symptoms.It may take alot of trial and error but there usually is something out there to help you keep your sanity. Before long, if she doesn’t already, she will probably start to wander. It is at that time she will not realize what is safe and what is dangerous. So beware! Medication or an Alzheimers unit may be your only recourse. In the meantime when she wants money to give away just go along with her. What she says is so real to her that you need to be in her world. If she says it has been awhile since she has given money just agree with her and let her go. Just keep recycling the money as you are and keep another purse with money in it in case the first purse runs out of money. Agree with anything she says and try to work it out as though it were real. Don’t ever disagree just treat it as tho it were a real issue. Keep in mind that whatever scenario you come up with, in 10 minutes she won’t remember what it was anyway. I hope this makes sense and it is of some help.
Thank you so much for reading and commenting on my blog!! It means a lot to me that carers and people that know about Alzheimer’s take the time to give some useful advice. This makes writing the blog worthwhile.
just saw your “Alzheimer’s Is Not Fun” by accident–and I well understand what you are going through. You may find it helpful to read my blog–took care of my grandmother for 14 years w/ the disease. Helen http://www.helenhudsonhere.wordpress.com
Dear Janine,
Reading your blog has made me realize that I am not alone…not that I would want to wish this on any person, but it is hard and the worst of all the person is not my Mother, but my mother in law. My husband has very little patients and is finding it hard as the “baby” of the family to accept it, her other children accept the eldest son, who is out of the country are in denial and it is very hard when she gets aggressive, and when she falls and tells people that we hurt her, it is very scary. We have looked at homes as we both work and have to support her financially, I have a five year old son that does not understand quite well why she is like this and at times it is frustrating for him as well. Once again I am glad I pondered upon your blog.
Hi Ruth. You did not mention where you live. Please join a support group! You will benefit so much from it. Let me know where you are please. If its not possible to join a group maybe we could skype sometime so that you can offload a bit. That will also do you good! Best wishes. Janine