Mom Then and Now

RIP Boet…We will miss you forever!! January 13, 2010

My beloved brother, Selwyn, passed away yesterday.  Massive heart attack which is the best way to go but does not make it any easier on us.  Every time Selwyn visited mom he would say “please God this never happens to me…I just want to drop dead one day”.  Selwyn had the most wonderful close family and they are just so lucky that they can all be together at this time.  Everyone is very shocked and I think its going to take a long time to get over this pain.   Hazel, Selwyns wife, is really special.  A soft, gentle, warm person who has dedicated her life to her family.  Selwyn loved her and the kids dearly.

As for mom, I think she understands that Selwyn has gone but she has shown no emotion.  Alan, my other brother, seems to think she shed a tear and her lip trembled when we told her but I dont think so.  I took her to see Hazel yesterday and she definitely seemed to know what was going on but the crowd of people irritated her and she was not happy there.  I also noticed that she can’t hug anymore.  Everyone was hugging her and she just sat rigid.  Very different to the affectionate lady we knew.  She had a restless night last night so I think she is upset but does not know how to show it or express herself.

Thankfully, Selwyn had visited mom regularly and he was always the one with the warmest hugs and affection for her.  They had always had a special relationship and she loved his humour his family and everything about him.  I always said he was her special child!!

Someone said to me yesterday “maybe he has gone now to help her when she gets there”.  Who knows…

I am convinced things happen for a reason.  If mom did not have dementia, yesterday would have killed her.  I dont think she could have coped with losing a child if she had been normal.

Same shit different day! January 13, 2010

Its been almost a month since I last wrote on the blog but there has really been very little to say.  The carers are all working out nicely, which has taken a big load off me.  I still stay home most of the time because mom still looks for me but at least I can relax more.

Mom is getting more quiet with every day that passes.  She seems happy and content.  Her body is definitely giving in and does not always know how to sit or how to stand anymore.  Spends a lot of time sleeping and very seldom talks.

On Christmas day mom was sure it was her birthday.  She said she was 100.  She was actually quite upset that nobody gave her birthday presents. *rolls eyes*

Visitors and phone calls are getting less and less and life just seems to carry on.