Mom Then and Now

Nothing much has changed December 3, 2009

In the past month, nothing much has changed.  She is sleeping more in the day and waking up between 3 and 6 times a night.  I spoke to the doctor who said she needs a sleeping pill to have a good rest at night.  For the first 4 days I gave her half a pill and she did not sleep day or night!!  I then gave her a whole tablet and for the past 3 nights she has woken up once or twice a night.  This I can live with.  After being up all night with her, night after night,  I was starting to feel the strain.

She often gets up at night and dresses herself.  Its always in evening wear and the clothes dont match and normally the vest is sticking out.  She also puts a top and jacket on but forgets the pants.   She does not argue when I go in and tell her we going to undress her again because its only 2 or 3am.  Mom very seldom argues anymore.  When I say anything she does as she is told.

Stress levels at home are not great.  Dylan I think is in denial and spends most of his time in his room.  He will do his duty with gran when asked but tries to keep away.  He just says “its too sad” when I question him.  Danie is also taking a bit of strain I think.  He is becoming even more quiet (if that is possible).  He is still wonderful with mom but I can just see he is not his usual self.  Alex and Adam are absolutely wonderful.  Adam still shocks me every day.  He is really an amazing kid.  He chooses to spend hours a day with gran and you can see he enjoys doing it.

Today mom came to sit with me and said she has made up her mind she is ready to give up on life.  She does not want to go on like this anymore.  Who can blame her.  We had a nice discussion and I said if it was me I would feel the same as she does.  We also discussed how hard it is for the people that love her to see her going down so fast.  She mentioned that she feels sorry for Adam because she believes he will take it the worst one day when she is no longer here.

Tonight before supper, Danie, mom and I were sitting in the lounge when she called me near and whispered “can we ask the gentleman sitting in the chair to join us for supper?”  For a few minutes she had absolutely no clue who Danie was.  This upset him terribly.

When mom becomes lucid again we discuss what happened and the 2 of us have a good laugh about it.  She can’t believe how “silly” she was.  These “silly” moments are becoming more frequent every day.

Its a sad time for everyone.  There is very little laughter and fun in the house and everyone’s life seems to revolve around mom.  She does thankfully realise how lucky she is to have so many carers!!

Another birthday has come and gone! December 3, 2009

Mom was so excited about her party she was talking about it for days in advance.  Her clothes were discussed and she was taken to the hairdresser so that she would look nice.  She stayed a bit weary as to whether she would be confused on the day or not.

She was fine the day of the party.  She looked happy although she was very quiet.  She had her morning sleep as normal and we kept on telling her that if she could stay awake the afternoon she must try and be with her family and friends but she was not able to keep up and had to go lie down for an hour in the middle of the party.

Some visitors that had not seen her for a few weeks were shocked as to how she had become worse in such a short time. 

At about 4pm she turned to me and said “I have had enough of this now, can we please go home”.  (The party was at home)