Mom Then and Now

We need all the help we can get! December 14, 2009

We started with help 24/7 on Friday.  I contacted an Agency that supplies Carers who sent me 2 lovely women who are each working 5 shifts a week, 7 to 7.  Jenny is taking the 4 open shifts that are left.  I think mom is really enjoying all the fuss made of her and loves having someone in her room at night while she is sleeping.  I am also enjoying my sleep now that I am not lying half awake in case mom wakes up and calls.  I still need to learn to relax as I still keep the monitor on in case there are any problems in the room.  My friend, Judy, who lives in the USA is looking for a monitor for me with a camera so that I can be sure mom does not get up with low blood pressure as she is bound to collapse again.  I cannot believe these monitors are not sold in South Africa!!

Anyway, life is much easier with all the help although mom is still very confused and at times cries out that I must please get help for her because she is all alone and has not seen a soul all day.  Yip…some things never change!!

The extra help has been employed for a months trial as Sarah goes on holiday this week.  Its working out so well that I am sure this will now become permanent.

A few days in the hospital! December 14, 2009

Saturday, the week before last, mom collapsed in the bathroom.  Luckily Jenny was next to her and caught her.  We went to the doctor but he was not too worried and sent us home saying we just need to watch her.  In the garage as we got home she was dizzy again and could not walk.  The doctor then suggested we put her in hospital to be watched for the weekend!

I still have no idea why the physician at the hospital thought she might have clots in the lungs.  Anyway, being weekend, very little could be done and the tests started on Monday.  They did test after test after test and could find nothing wrong with the lungs but her blood pressure was low and she was dehydrated.  Because of these 2 problems, she had to be taken off her kidney medicine.  In the hospital she was incredibly drowsy and slept all day long.  We could not even wake her to eat properly.   The physician said she must get half her sleeping tablet and only half her tranquilizer in the morning.

When we got home she was back to normal but on the lower dose of medicines as prescribed. 

The first night we got up 8 times.  Twice to go to the toilet and 6 times I got to the room to find mom with an evening jacket on, no bra but with a nappy and her highest heels.  When I asked what is going on she said we going out.  This happened 6 times…6 different evening jackets!!  Needless to say the full sleeping tablet was given the next night.  As for the tranquilizer, I put her back up to her full dose of that as well as she  became aggressive again, kept on worrying about her money and it felt that besides her health that was now worse, we had turned the clock back 6 months.

Her feet are now starting to swell and I can see the kidneys are not behaving.  I have made an appointment with her physician tomorrow and will take it from there.

Nothing much has changed December 3, 2009

In the past month, nothing much has changed.  She is sleeping more in the day and waking up between 3 and 6 times a night.  I spoke to the doctor who said she needs a sleeping pill to have a good rest at night.  For the first 4 days I gave her half a pill and she did not sleep day or night!!  I then gave her a whole tablet and for the past 3 nights she has woken up once or twice a night.  This I can live with.  After being up all night with her, night after night,  I was starting to feel the strain.

She often gets up at night and dresses herself.  Its always in evening wear and the clothes dont match and normally the vest is sticking out.  She also puts a top and jacket on but forgets the pants.   She does not argue when I go in and tell her we going to undress her again because its only 2 or 3am.  Mom very seldom argues anymore.  When I say anything she does as she is told.

Stress levels at home are not great.  Dylan I think is in denial and spends most of his time in his room.  He will do his duty with gran when asked but tries to keep away.  He just says “its too sad” when I question him.  Danie is also taking a bit of strain I think.  He is becoming even more quiet (if that is possible).  He is still wonderful with mom but I can just see he is not his usual self.  Alex and Adam are absolutely wonderful.  Adam still shocks me every day.  He is really an amazing kid.  He chooses to spend hours a day with gran and you can see he enjoys doing it.

Today mom came to sit with me and said she has made up her mind she is ready to give up on life.  She does not want to go on like this anymore.  Who can blame her.  We had a nice discussion and I said if it was me I would feel the same as she does.  We also discussed how hard it is for the people that love her to see her going down so fast.  She mentioned that she feels sorry for Adam because she believes he will take it the worst one day when she is no longer here.

Tonight before supper, Danie, mom and I were sitting in the lounge when she called me near and whispered “can we ask the gentleman sitting in the chair to join us for supper?”  For a few minutes she had absolutely no clue who Danie was.  This upset him terribly.

When mom becomes lucid again we discuss what happened and the 2 of us have a good laugh about it.  She can’t believe how “silly” she was.  These “silly” moments are becoming more frequent every day.

Its a sad time for everyone.  There is very little laughter and fun in the house and everyone’s life seems to revolve around mom.  She does thankfully realise how lucky she is to have so many carers!!

Another birthday has come and gone! December 3, 2009

Mom was so excited about her party she was talking about it for days in advance.  Her clothes were discussed and she was taken to the hairdresser so that she would look nice.  She stayed a bit weary as to whether she would be confused on the day or not.

She was fine the day of the party.  She looked happy although she was very quiet.  She had her morning sleep as normal and we kept on telling her that if she could stay awake the afternoon she must try and be with her family and friends but she was not able to keep up and had to go lie down for an hour in the middle of the party.

Some visitors that had not seen her for a few weeks were shocked as to how she had become worse in such a short time. 

At about 4pm she turned to me and said “I have had enough of this now, can we please go home”.  (The party was at home)